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The inaugural winner of the Rodney Barnett Award
The Rodney Barnett award, in memory of one of the forefathers of Barnett Waddingham who sadly died last year, honours the wittiest or most unusual contribution to The Actuary magazine during the year, as decided by Barnett Waddingham's panel of judges. The winner for 2001 is Matthew Edwards for the following article. Matthew Edwards works as a consultant for Watson Wyatt; he specialises in the Italian insurance markets. The following article appeared in The Actuary magazine in April 2001:
The profession's public image
The lately established Committee for the Review of Actuarial Presentation has come up with some suggestions for raising the profile of the profession. Matthew Edwards files an exclusive report.
As a profession we have often worried about our public image. How do others see us? Where do they see us? Why do they see us? In fact, do they see us at all? How can we improve our image? Do we have an image that can be improved? To answer these questions, the Committee for the Review of Actuarial Presentation was established last ear. So modest and unassuming has the committee been in the execution of its labours that not even its members have known of its existence. However, at last it has something to report. We publish here, exclusively, CRAP's suggestions on how the profession can improve its public image.
New Olympic sport: synchronised FSA form-filling
As a way of garnering maximum public coverage, albeit only every four years - until, that is, the Olympics are modified to take account of the FSA's preferred reporting timeframes - the committee suggests the promotion of the exalting new sport, synchronised FSA form-filling. This satisfies all the criteria for an Olympic sport - exciting to watch on television, difficult to master, more exciting when you're full of drugs - and would also be safe for small children to practise at home (providing an adult is standing by when Form 9 is attempted).
But, more importantly, it is a sport of sublime beauty. Who has not been moved to a higher plane of spirituality by watching two appointed actuaries simultaneously fill in Form 13, row 40? Who has not gasped at the desperate acrobatics involved to ensure simultaneous completion of Form 40, row 10? And who has not sat on the edge of their seat, unable to control their bodily motions, as they have watched the extraordinary crescendo involved in contemporaneous compilation of Form 60?
Live coverage of Schedule 2C transfers
For a long time, television audiences in the western world have swooned as they watched dashing and dramatic lawyers fight for truth and justice in courtrooms, swaying juries with the powers of their arguments, the swish of their robes, the bounce of their wigs. We as a profession can capitalise on this attitude by ensuring that, in future, all court petitions for Schedule 2C transfers are televised. Who could fail to be jumping up and down, shouting at the screen, 'Go on, how can you allow this scheme to go through?', or throwing beer cans at the cat when the judge mispronounces the apostrophe in PRE?
The Booker Prize: why not Core Reading?
Tired of reading about a blind Bolivian peasant's search for his uncle's cigar-box in the 17th century? Or the love between a one-legged Swiss submariner and an existentialist Tibetan cheesemonger in 16thcentury Brixton? Many people are. This is why it is time that some real literature was entered for the Booker Prize. Like Core Reading.
When the judges have finished basking in the luxuriant, opulent prose of 302, when they have finished immersing themselves in the gripping human drama of 103, when they have finished dreaming about the fascinating implications of 404 chapter 5 for two starcross'd actuaries from Verona, then will be the moment for a unanimous vote in favour of Core Reading as 'the next Booker'. The resulting publicity will be enormous; the potential for subsequent Hollywood tie-ins is mouth-watering, more mouth-watering even than Core Reading itself.
Dimensionally advantaged sibling
The recent interest in the television offering Big Brother makes us think that there may be some mileage in repackaging A67-70 Ultimate in this format. Starting with every actuary's favourite number, 34,489 as 'l0', fellows will vote in successive Staple Inn meetings on which of those 34,489 valiant contenders are to make it to age one, and so on. A suitable name for the escapade might be Who wants to be a centenarian? This could also tie in with a quiz-show element. For instance, to survive certain critical ages, life table statistics would be required to answer challenging questions, probably based on the contents of the Friendly Societies (Amendments) (Counteramendments) (Stet) Act 1925.
Everest: the final frontier
Many people have generated publicity for themselves, their causes, or their companies by scaling Mount Everest in some novel way - without oxygen, without clean underwear, without a nasal hair trimmer, without additives and colouring - the list is endless. Or not quite. In fact, no one has yet scaled Mount Everest while performing a periodic investigation into the liabilities of a life insurance company as required by the Insurance Company Act 1982 Chapter 18.
This impressive feat should be made the profession's principal objective for the year 2001. Truly we would be known as the most intrepid profession.
How can I get involved?
None of these plans is worth what an actuarial student would call 'sweet FA' without your support and involvement.
We shall shortly be sending out a form on which you can specify in which of these ventures you would like to participate. In the meantime, start training on your climbing frame.
The above article appeared in The Actuary magazine in April 2001.
Barnett Waddingham, January 2002.