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Barnett Waddingham Christmas Party 2000
They may be in the lower half of the Premiership right now, but that doesn't stop Chelsea FC hosting a decent party.
Stamford Bridge is changing so much these days, however, that Barnett Waddingham's two previous parties in Ken Bates' playground were no help when it came to finding the front door. One of the firm's partners eventually gave up and asked Gustavo Poyet for directions, but he seemed unaware of the big occasion.
With around 160 staff from all the offices attending, space on the dancefloor is starting to become limited. We were pleased to have some important people from Barnett Waddingham's past with us - Hazel Braunton, Jillian Evans and Martin Harris. Unfortunately, Miss Tallboy, Mr Barnett and Mr and Mrs Hayward were unable to attend this year, and we hope to have the chance to see them again without having to wait until Christmas 2001.
The staff at Chelsea played a blinder in serving lunch amid the crossfire of the traditional pea-shooter fights. Indeed, for many, the combination of physical effort needed to finish off the generous portions of festive food and mental effort expended on Rob Guthrie's Christmas quiz might well have been as strenuous as any normal Friday afternoon at the office.
Some historical and literary theorists have propounded the idea that many societies express themselves by means of a "carnival" or occasion where the usual social and political hierarchies are turned on their heads. For this reason, the partners of the firm tend to brace themselves in anticipation of the entertainments slot. This year's victims included Colin Richardson and Mark Underwood, who both went under the knife in the Leeds office's "Actuarial Hospital" with Rolf Harris, but the principal object of abuse was Paul Latimer, whose elevation to Associate this year was celebrated by his team in musical fashion with T-shirts that immediately attained cult status. This was followed by a Latimer victory in a London office's Big Brother tribute.
Controversial refereeing decisions saw Tony Leandro denied a place in the tug-of-war competition in Cheltenham's Sydney 2000 tribute, and the first-aiders were almost called upon after Colin Richardson's victory over Mark Howard nearly resulted in spectator casualties. Amersham's SSAS team finished events with a Ramones tribute which showed just how young BW's staff really are (so who are the Ramones?).
Six hours of disco followed, during which the name of Gary Bailey became famous for more than failing to cut out Liam Brady's last-minute cross in the 1979 Cup Final, and the party finished with some indoor sky-diving by the IT team. Mercifully, the bluecoats then ushered the last revellers to the exits.
Barnett Waddingham, January 2001.